Well I’ve got it done my job application. Its gone off in the post, both snail and electronic. I forgot how much work doing one of these bad boys was. What on the surface looks like a straight forward fill in the box type job, turns into an emotional roller coaster which brings into harsh perspective your sucessess and failures in jobs present and past. I especially love that wonderful moment of doubt, usually when you get half way though the Additional Supporting Information section, were your whole sense of worthiness to apply for the job just falters and collapses.

Well its done and sent. Forget it.

Now onto the next task.

I’ve never bought a car before. There’s a very simple reason for this. I can’t drive. However now as part of a married couple I get to make decisions on this sort of thing. So while the rest of the chaps were whooping it up on keefybabe’s stag do in Edinburgh, I was off looking at cars with Rach and her parents.

Adventures in buying a car

I am hot sweaty mass.

All currently I know is that

• Zoe the content goddess will kill ME If I Use Capitials In Titles.
• i love class=”darkgreytext”
• I’m applying for a new job soon which makes me happy (more money, more of a developer role) and sad (like my current job and colleagues) at the same time.

Today I am two people.

One who is cracking on with work. Efficiently prioritising tasks and communicating well with colleagues.

One who is too warm, easily distracted and just wants to stare out the window.

Guess which one is typing this entry?

UPDATE: Fortunatly the Decisive focused mindset won the battle of the psyche after lunch, so today has been a very productive day!

I’m avoiding doing any work.

Must stop now before someone notices.

Started nice and slow with a quiet night in on Friday. Which I really needed.

Saturday Woke up reasonably early and wasted the rest of the day playing Guildwars. In the evening me and Rach went to Linda’s Hag night at bar Pacific. Lots of alcohol was downed and caught up with a shed load of people which was really nice. The best night out this year so far.

Me and Rachel ,photo by grannyannie

Sunday. Both me and Rach were hideously hung over all day. Resolutions were made to never drink so much ever again. More playing of Guildwars (my character reached 9th Level!) and general tea drinking.

As keefybabe used to say “The terror never stops, it just takes a break for a pint”.

So consider this a big pint of the black stuff

http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/donkeybong/

(WARNING NOT WORK FRIENDLY:Lots of noise)

and a favourite from the ‘Annoyance at work’ days.

http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/frogbender/

I’m not usually one for venting in public, but I’m going to get this off my chest.

In my major interest outside work is witting and playing pen and paper role-playing games. I mainly run at Conventions (fun filled weekends away usually at Universities) where I also organise not only my games but time table 2-6 others, since I am a demo team leader for a game called . At home when I have time and motivation I write mainly HQ again, but also my own stuff. I’m working on the HQ for publication and my own stuff is for fun (with self-publication later on perhaps).

I don’t have a problem with my writing, which I’m quietly coming along with and WILL get done, but its the attitude of my fellow gamers that’s pissing me off. You go to the trouble of creating stuff for other people to use and you don’t even get any thanks for it. And very occasionally some random nerd with his head up his own arse will actually come and have a go. This person will have no idea what they are talking about, so its an easy enough job to deflect them in an nice way. But it takes it out of your self esteem, why do I have to put up with this crap?

I’m sick of the clicheness of it all. Forums and e-group were couple of 30-40 year old loud mouths can set the agenda and rules, and on whim break them in hideous ways. The ongoing crapness where people say they are going to do it and never do and then pat themselves on the back for it. I know I’ve equally as guilty of dropping the ball from time to time, but I’m not shouting about the glory of my achievements and making outright lies as I do.

I’m also coming to the sad conclusion that allot of the hobby is an ever diminishing group of clichy men telling tales of past glories round a gradually dimming fire.

Time to have a break from this ‘community’ and come back in a month or so refreshed.

Rant over.

Argh. Its crunch time at work over the school website and I’ve not had my traditional day working at home this week. So I’m tired and pissed off. I’ve still got enough about me not to be immersed in it. To keep a certain distance and know that its just because I’m a tired and a black cloud that will pass. In fact Its quite entertaining waking up in a murderous mood and stomping off to work.