I’m now fed up of work and counting the days before XMAS. Today I threw in the towel and emailed the boss that I would be working from home today. Got a website that I want to get done and dusted today, and I’ll be able to do it in the peace and quiet of my home.

Yesterday it was my pleasure to be a supporting character in one of the best films I’ve seen in a long while -“Rachel’s Graduation”. Despite recent events everyone was happy and on form. Brian and Elaine came over from Oldham stayed the night to be up bright and early for the 8:30 start of the production. Got a Taxi to the Uni which was a smart move, seeing the huge cues for parking when we got there. Photos and gowning up was done in a breeze, since Rach had cunningly timed it so we arrived just after the last people from the previous 9:15 ceremony , but before the hordes from her ceremony. After gowning up we went over to the Refectory for a cuppa. Then we were joined by Rach’s best mate of her course Sara (or Evil shopping Sara as I call her) and her mum. Sara and Rach really supported each other during the course, and continue to do so now they are both working, so it was nice to see them both together during the day. We then moved onto the bigger pre-ceremony tea and cake do, and then finally at about 10 stood outside the great hall in the bright winter daylight. After a long delay and much shuffleing on seats the ceremony started. After seeing Harry Potter graduation ceremonies will never be seen in the same light, with all the colourful gowns and ceremonial staves that the academic procession brought into the room. After we all extracted our self from the hall, off for a swift pint over at the union before going home.

Rachel slept the rest of the afternoon, as would you if you had just come off five night shifts in a row, and I went over to Morrisons to do the weekly shop. In the evening Rach woke up and we watched the first couple of episodes of Desperate Housewives which was dead good. It was lovely to see my wife and snuggle up, after missing her for the last two weeks.

Its been a reflective couple of days. Kinda the opposite of what I wanted. Yes the return of Action Man Newt (now with gripping hands and 10 corny catch phrases at a pull of a string*) is what is needed here, with Rach still working on nights and her parents inbound this Tuesday. Saying this around all the constructive day dreaming I’ve been doing the last couple of days I’ve done a fair bit. Just need to polish up quite literally, then hopefully house will be critism proof.

Things I’ve realised about myself over the last couple of days.

• Even when I’m beyond dog tired I can operate effectively. I’ve hidden reserves that if I relax mentally and physically my spirit will follow. This is the essence of Wu-wei. I’ve always known this, appreciated the theory, held it in the palm of my hand, sniffed its sweet aroma just under my nose. Now I can be it. Watch out world is all I can say.
• There’s a lot more to the world than I led myself to believe. I look at what I’ve archived over the last 15-5 years and it makes my head spin. Most of this change has been achived through stepping outside my comfort zone. Guess who’s going to be playing it alot fast and loose from now on?
• I should get off my regret trip that I’m not 25 anymore. Of course I am!! I’m 25, 20, 30, 5 etc. I’ve not lost anything I’ve gained over the past years. I can still be teenager with the best of them. I should enjoy bloosming into adult hood and not let regret over the past hold me back.
• “You’ve got to keep your sense of humour” (gleaned through intense conversation with representatives of my personal demons, in Have a Beer with Fear pt2 last lonely Saturday night.)
• Compassion will keep me moving on and dealing with the obstacles. There’s allot of pain and suffering around and in me at the moment. Self-pity, self-loathing, fear and anger are all false illusions thrown up by very real causes, that can be healed with a smile and by engaging the heart. If I keep any of this in my mind consciously I want this to be it**
• I really should look after physical needs more. I’ve been suffering from stress and paranoia lately, which is mainly down to me being physically wired. So in the new year no beer at home or fatty comfort foods. Diet now or Die sooner. Sleep is my friend, I’m a early morning person*** now, stop being a stroppy teenager and go to bed early!
• Level 42 still rocks my boat after all these years!!

Notes
* Talking Action Man Commander was my favourite Action man of all time, until I lost him swimming in the sea on holiday. Boy did I manfully (for an eight year old) cry that day
** Of course I’ll gradually lose this Zen like state, and forget all this over the next cycle of a months. Ah well such is the way of the Tao.
*** Actually I joined this rather strange club when I hit 30.

Yesterday tea time we got the news that we had been half expecting since Tuesday. Rachel’s Grandmother Ethel Smethurst, died in her sleep Saturday morning. About a month ago she fell and badly fractured her left leg. Ethel was a very active woman, and despite advancing age (she was 85) would never let anyone help her out, and moved at a rate that would put many of you to shame. However it was a constant worry that she would have an accident like this, since she was getting very fragile and just wouldn’t slow down! It wasn’t the leg wound that she died of. While in hospital she caught flu and it was of this she succumbed to. Rachel’s parents where there when she died, and Rachel had seen her on Tuesday. Rachel is getting on with life , as one does when one has two weeks of night shifts, but breaks down in tears when she thinks of Ethel. As does this grown man, the water seeping through an exterior of granite.

I’m deeply sad about Ethel’s demise. She was a marvellous person, full of no nonsense life and energy. For someone who said she was the thicky of the family, born into the family of a Mill owner in Oldham she never worked for a living or went to college, she was as sharp as a diamond. It was all a smokescreen really, and act that often had me fooled. I’ll miss the kindness she showed me when I joined the family, and the support that she gave me and Rachel. She didn’t have to but it was with a breath taking generosity that is sometimes lacking in the world.

The funeral is going to be sometime next week. We’re holding the wake at the Spring Inn in Oldham, were so many family meets were held, including the meal the night before my wedding. Its going to feel strange though. I’ll be half expecting Ethel to rush up to me at roadrunner speed and hand me her purse to put behind the counter saying that she was paying and the ensuing row with her son Brian that she shouldn’t pay because its us taking us out, leading to the classic rebuke “well you better have it while I’m here”

I am eternally grateful that I met and had the privilege to spend time with Ethel. While she was very much her own person she had time and interest in others. It is this and her breathtaking speed of movement that will inspire me for the rest of my life.

I’ve learnt about two new tools…colour replacement and autoshapes. I’ve also learnt how to do animate gifs using ImageReady.

Brace yourselves

Had a lovely few beers down the Lass o Gowrie in Manchester with Stewart Stansfield and Martin Smart last night. Lots of real ale and a lovely bowl of chips and vegie burger. Outstanding. Talked mucho nonsense about roleplaying and history, Stew a History PHD student soon, and some bollocks about politics (started by Martin who doesn’t like my “they’re all a shower of bastards, I won’t vote for any of the feckers” approach”). A pleasant evening, it was weird to get back on the train at 8:30 and come all the way back to Leeds. A taste of nights out to come and a much needed break from nights in alone.

mmmm coffee mmmm coding mmm feta cheese sandwich mmm beers in evening..

Life tis good

I’m currently sitting on our School communications group review commitee. I work at the School of Nursing, Midwifery and Social work at Manchester University as School Web Developer.

The commitee is looking at communications within large organisations. So far they’ve only looked at Manchester Metropolitan Police’ communications toolkit. Basically what this is a set of simple guidelines, How to use email, when to organise a meeting etc. I was wondering if the DOH has ever produced such as set of guidelines, and if so if someone could send me a copy? (newtus AT ntlworld DOT com).

An idea nicked and modified from itsjustaname‘s post which reviewed her year by taking the first paragraph of her first post for each month.

Ladies and Gentleferks, I present to you

My condensed Live Journal