What’s over? Well the mad screaming race that my life had become in the last couple of months.

Keeping this journal has really helped me see the ride for what it was. My self pushing past the ego, to achieve however momentarily a sense of ego less releasing myself from the pit of self-indulgence letting me move on to greener pastures in my life.

That just seemed to come out of nowhere, as these things do.

Oh well 3 weeks before I start my course. Quietly confident now. Even if I don’t get there I have gained a lot.

Talking of the self-indulgent pit, work was particularly stinky today. I finally truly see it for what it is —-the section of Doom and Gloom “the section of Ego-full poor me”. Even if I am not getting on the Masters I am walking out of there.

And i mean walking out of there. I have gained so much confidence recently that I won’t hesitate to go for another job, and get it.

Any ways still totally tired from the weekend. I will post a write up of Gen-con the weekend because far too much happened, and not all of it makes sense, to make it a short article.

Any ways Mr Newt’s surfing the net and playing comp-games at the moment

Go check out Body Modification EZine if you are into piercing and Tattooing

Also I just got another of my articles posted over at www.Frag-Energy.com

So go and check out my review of Tactical ops.

NOW!

I’m back from Gen-con

Time for Sleep

Good Night

Whoa what a weekend it has been.

Friday was Foz’s and way to much beer.
Saturday was playing too much computer games, nursing a hangover and then creating a new one on Saturday night when I went round Wuf’s & Fiona’s and Jo from London was there, with new bloke Keef. It was nice to see her and every one was on form.

Had a nice day yesterday, wrote a new article for Frag-energy about a UT mod, Tac Ops, that I have wasted most of my weekend playing.

Today I have been slaving away at my Hero Wars Scenario for Gen Con and I still haven’t finished it!!!!! Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well only two days to go.

Also just hit me that I won’t be working for Her Majesties Government for much longer. There goes my last bit of respectablity.

I love Bank Holidays.

Well the big news of the week is that I got on the MSC in Software Design, that I applied for at Leeds Metropolitian University!!!

Currently basking in the glory of simply getting on the course, since I only got a Ordinary for my first degree. Would have had a lot to do with the fact that I was heavily involved in a Software Development Project last summer, from the users side. Now have to get the finances together, a Career Development loan, but feel quite happy and optimistic about that.

The best thing about going on this course, after it greatly increasing Game Designer aspirations, is that it gets me out of the beyond stupidly heavy period that is coming up at work, because of the dreaded PMS pilots (9 times as most)

Other big news this week is that I’ve been taken on as a staff member at a fan site, for First Person Shooter site, called Frag Energy. Last sunday I wrote a article about a Halflife Mod called “Gangsta Wars” which they put up and got a mention across the HL community. Oh my heart swelled with pride when I read a quick link in Planet Halflife…….yes I am sad I’ll stop now.

Can’t believe what a eventfull week it has been. I can feel it today because, today is going so slow. I am going to have to sort out this weekly energy peaks and troughs, I seem to be at my best on Thursday, as well as the monthly cycles so I can best plan my times to act and my times to rest.

Begining to focus less on the Masters, its out of my hands and cynicism is begining to creep in that I woun’t get on the course or they won’t tell me with enough time for me to give notice at work (by the begining of September).

Therefore I am focusing on things I can work on. Such as the up coming Gen-Con and the upcoming busy period at work (basically all the way upto XMAS).

Other News this week. Rachel’s friend from school Sharon came upto stay with us, since she had a Lawyer’s course here in Leeds. All I can say she is a really nice person who I imeadiatly warmed too, but boy is she opperating in a much more hectic go getting lifestyle, which seems to frazzle her nerves quite serverly at times.

Was nice to see her though. 🙂

Right back to chilling now. Off to see folks later this evening.

Today has been a relaxed and productive day. In comparison to Friday night which was a bit hectic and out of hand.

Thursday was big on the beer, so Friday although relaxed was massively hungover. Just played Homeworld, in which I repeatably got kicked in but its such a hypnotic game (never has space been so pink) that I couldn’t stop and Quake 2 for the video game violence aspect. I think I really needed a break from everything even my Projects.

Giles, a long standing friend from Uni days who also works at Quarry House is leaving for six months to work at St James’ Hospital. So we were all out at the Pub to see hime off. The rest of them had a couple of hours head start on me, and even by 7 they were bit worse for wear. As I said to the barmaid, “the people I am buying for are already a bit psychotic, so I don’t want to buy any Scrumpy for them”.

Saying that a pint of Scrumpy picked up Rachel who was flagging a bit, at the Duck and Drake, which was nice to go to being an old haunt and no nonsense sort of place. Strated to relax into the even there.

Went to the Fenton by about 9 for Claire’s and Caroline’s Birthday and thats were things started getting a bit surreal. It was nice to see all the shiny happy faces of the posse. But then I started to feel a bit dissociated from it all. Its all like people ware hanging onto the good old days of Uni. When I consider that most of them are 3 years younger than me, this probably is the case. Some people from this group have been giving me flack for settling down with Rachel recently, but they probably don’t realise my motives for it. I am quiet simply not 18 anymore, and I need a stable home environment to get my writing done, which is giving me alot more pleasure than getting drunk and stoned (not that I don’t enjoy these things in moderation)

Then things got even more bizzarre when this fat fella started sliming over the rather out of it Rach. I left him to it not wanting to act the Alpha male, since I hope I am beyond this, yet being bombarded Alpha male signals to action, as the reptile brain overcome the civilsed brain. Fortunatly we left the pub before things came to a head.

However me and Rach, who realised what sort of position she had, had a quiet talk as the rest of them stomped off to Claire’s for a party. Cleared things up, then the beer causht up with Rach, who had only a packet of crisps all day. Aforementioned packet of crisps was ceremonisly puked up on the pavement (hence the term “Packet of pavement puke crisps” that I taunted the “Princess of Puke” the next day.] and it was in and out of taxis, the first of which drove off, untill we got home. Could have gone back to the party, but was pretty out of it and tired by the nights proceedings so I sobered up a bit by posting on Barbelith Underground for a bout an hour until I went to bed.

Saturday was a restfull slob day, with Rach feeling a bit subdued and sorry for the previous nights events, and me in equal parts playing house maid and Mikey taker. One thing I managed to make progress on was that I finally got my head round Half-life Mapping. My first playable effort is basically a monster in a box, with a gun for the player. I’ll have to put on my website for a laugh, so look out for the ACID BOX (once you see the textures you’ll see why)

Rest came easy and deep that night. Not sure whether it was Lucid dreaming or not, but my body seemed to be infused with a spirit of deep relaxation and the realsation that I’ve been taking it too seriously recently, and that I should do it for fun. Yeehaw!!!

So today was conducted in that spirit with continuing adventures in Half-life Mapping (a bigger map which I’m probaly going to call “Barneys and Zombies” or “The Escape”), some work on my Monkey RPG( which seems to be writing itself) and updating and fixing my Webpage (go there now and see photo’s of me when I was 18 and read my stories!!!).

Talked with Rach this evening about what was worrying her about work, and it seems that a caravaning holiday at the end of September is on the cards to recharge spirits.

Well got tommorrow off so plenty of slobbing to do. Despite all the time of I’ve had recently, I suddenly realised that I had very little time to myself. Things were begining to get a bit strained with the Good Lady of Smethurst, which unfortunatly is going to happen every 2-3 months due to us living in a one bedroom house.

Oh well got a new keyboard,one of those Microsoft Natural keyboard. I’m using it now and while it is certainly alot more easier on the old wristies, its like typing on a calazone pizza. With the whole affair having a humped carapiece look to its a like the beetle typewriters out of The Naked Lunch films.

Oh well off to drink some lovely beers and play games.

Of course you didn’t cos nobody is reading this.

Disaster, disaster! Younger Bro, or was it me I forget, spilled coffee on the old keyboard of DAS UBERCOMPUTER on Sunday night and it gave up the ghost yesterday. It was a bit baffling at first, since the combination of sticky keys made the computer crash in interesting ways, eg when I was playing games, using the CD rom. I thought it was some sort of evil virus or driver failure, or gasp even some sort of Hardware fault.

Now I feel dumb as shit. It was simply a crappy keyboard!

Gonna get dumber by drinking Beer and listening to the latest Kerrang (Heavy metal magazine) Cd.

Can’t get dumber than that.

Still quite shattered from Convulsion 2K. Realised last night what a grumpy bastard I’ve been all week. Really must learn how to stop and get some sleep. Is this Summer 00 going to be the summer of sleep deprivation?

My brother George came up last night, to check out Wakefield (just 10 miniutes from Leeds), where he is goig to Art college in October. He is exactly like Brad Pitt in True Romance, minus the hair, and has just produced his bong. I think all the do stuff ave just gone out the window….

Things are a bit slow today, something which I’m only just appreciating after recent hecticness.

Bugger all going on at work, since Its the first week of the school holidays, so I’ve been catching up with the filing and writing some of my Gen-con adventure.

Oh well back to the crawl