Category Archives: Fun

Aliens is the best CHRISTMAS FILM EVAR!!!

Aliens is the classic Christmas Film, not Die Hard as some people have erroneously

Hidden in the subliminal Occult Layer (only properly exposed in the 5:1 surround sound Blu-ray release) of the film, it’s a modern critique of the futility of the Christian Christmas (as symbolically represented by the Marines – each of whom are an analogy of the different sects of that religion) faced with the merciless onslaught of Consumerism (the Aliens) and need to return to ancient pre-flood Midwinter celebrations (where it was Pyramids not Trees that were erected OUTSIDE the house for obvious reasons) via the vector of BIG FUCKING GUNS! πŸ˜›

Why people carve pumpkins

Well back in 1079, there was this visitor to the little village of Leeds called Jack Pumpkin Head. No one knew where he come from, but there he was one day, demanding a fresh loaf of bread and a brace of Bury Black puddings a day from poor idiotic folk of those parts. If he failed to get this humble fare, he would take himself down the pub and with burning eyes and gnashing teeth kill any Norman ee did find there supping Titleys Ale.

King William was right alarmed and ordered the Scouring of the North to kill the Orange Headed one. But all the fire and slaughter inflicted by robber Norman Knights failed to kill old Jack, so King William was forced to leave his comfy seat down south in the Tower of London meet the oranged headed fiend in single combat. Lo on Ilkey Moor the two heroes met, and after a bloody combat, with much leaping about as to make John Woo most proud, King William did chop of Jack’s Pumpkin Head clean off.

Because he was right cross about having to come up from his comfy seat down south to the cold rainy Noff, he picked up Jack’s head and carved the words “Fuck off, ye be dead, I hate Titleys” on the soft squidgy orange head. Then he stormed off back down south, were the weather was nicer, where they had lovely sweet wine and big fook off castles to keep Saxons out!

The people never forgot King William’s victory over demon Pumpkin Headed Jack and if they were rich , or had a Morrisons nearby, would annually buy a pumpkin to carve into the visage of the terrible Jack with his burning eyes and gnashing teeth in the hope that Jack would come back to earth and deal with the Normans, now called Tories. (well you did askΒ  πŸ™‚ )

Newport Family Shrine to Jack Pumpkinhead 2015
Newport Family Shrine to Jack Pumpkinhead 2015

So 44

Had a lovely birthday yesterday.

Took the day off to look after the kids, who are on half-term, and they were lovely all day. Mum came round this morning and I talked the hind legs off a donkey since I was in very high spirits πŸ™‚

Kids presented home made cards, Evie made a cake and we all played Disney Infinity 3.0 (a console game which comes with figures, and this version is Star Wars!) . Rach was asleep most of the day, due to her being between night shifts (boo), but when she got up there was glow sticksΒ  and a quick live action version of Tom and Jerry (both courtesy of Evie and Henry).

Rounded off the day by watching the second episode of Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, and after a quick nod off the rather excellent first episode of Fargo Season 2. followed by a quick spot of blogging while listening to the Best of Chet Baker (Cool πŸ™‚ )

44th-cake

Cotswolds Camping Holiday 2015

Me and Rach have a thing about the Cotswolds, its a magical place where we go to recharge with enough attractions to keep our minds active. After three or four consecutive holidays in the North Norfolk coast (Hunstantion then finally Cromer) in Holiday cottages while the children where small, we stayed at Burton on the Water for two weeks last year and the kids loved it. I do have some pictures saved, but wasn’t blogging regularly then so failed to mention it (damn you addition to farcebook πŸ™‚ ). On the last day but one day while having a cafe lunch in Morton on the Marsh we resolved to come back, but since we had literally maxed out on the cottage option (we stayed in an expensive once in a life time cottage which is on all the Bourton postcards) we decided to save a ton of money and go camping this year.Β  Which we did and while being very hard work (I’m still shattered a week later) it was full of Awesome and Win! Especially good for the kids since from litterally the first hour they where running about and playing with other children their age.

This time round we stayed the Cirencester end of the Cotswolds, in a small but picturesque village of Mitchinhampton on Tobbacconist Farm (which I give a full unreserved 10 out of 10, perfect for us).

Highlights of the ten days we where there:

  • Revisiting the Cotworlds Wildlife Park (probably my favourite zoo).
  • Newark Park, a nice gentle afternoon visit with just enough for the kids to do while I soaked in the history.
  • Cirencester, the first time we took time to look around for a full day without making shopping our priority (a win of organisation on our part!). The Musseum, the awesome Crocodile Toyshop (which yielded ace toys and kites, and despite Games Workshop begging the owner has no Warhammer nonsense – because he thinks they are a bad company) with its Star Wars lego displays, and tea at Pizza Express (which has good memories of the kids growing up from previous visits).
  • Bourton on the Water – revisiting one of our favorite places. A bit like going back in time, since we stayed there for two weeks literally to the year, and I did nearly started heading up the road to the cottage we stayed in last year!
  • Cattle Country. This was Henry’s choice, a big play centre with indoors and outdoors. Made me want to be 10 again πŸ™‚
  • Minchinhampton itself. The take out pizza van on Tuesdays. The common where cattle (and golfers) roam free. The village centre with its small high street of shops and restaurants (The Kitchen with its veggie breakfast on the last day and Henry’s Ice Cream parlour).
  • Nailsworth. A late discovery that we could have visited more. A shoping centre for arty stuff without being pointless and a had a nice laid back pace of life.
  • Dyrham Park another National Trust place (we are members and they always have activities that keep our kids entertained), which I thought was going to blow because of the roof restoration but actually was fantastic because of it! If you are in the area go check it out and go on the roof before its all done in December.

it was a very different experience to our usual Stow on the World/Bourton on the Water/Shakespear Country Cotwolds experience, but we enjoyed it and there was still tons to do, so we may be revisiting it or moving slightly south down Somerset way next year.

The only sting in the tail was the 12 hours it took to get home on Friday (3 hours packing tent +9 hours in traffic mainly due to delays on the M5!).

Hey that was May!

It’s been a busy month.

First off our Rach is getting used to be being nearly full time now that she’s taken up a position as Research Midwife two days a week. Currently she still has to do two days of clinical practice, and its that which is the tiring stressful bit. We are hoping she goes full time with the Research job if a position comes available.Β  She’s doing well at it and is a lot happier. Plus it seems to have opened up our weekends. Which meant a couple of weekends we could…

Go camping!!! First trip out this year, due to a combination of me being away at 7 Hills and it being feckin’ freezing, and we went to a campsite just five miles south of Chester on a farm These pictures of the meadow next to the site, were the kids all went to play don’t do it justice.

bank-holiday-camping-the-view bank-holiday-camping-the-view-2

We drove down Friday straight after school, and spent the Saturday in Chester (because we needed to do a quick shop, something we won’t do again). Sunday we went to the Cotebrook Shire Horse Centre which was a nice walk in the countryside and finally Monday we had a nice pack up and drive home. Very hard work, and a bit more stress full due to our disorganisation. Next time everything in boxes and no shopping trips for things we’ve forgotten.

Couple of days at work then it was time to me to go to UK Games Expo at the NEC Hilton Metropole to run a stall for D101 Games.Β  Been wanting to go to this when it started 7 years ago, and various family things kept on getting in the way.Β  But not this year! Went with my mate Guy, who drove me and the stock down. We had a fun time working 5-7 hour days selling on the stall πŸ™‚ Overall it was awesome. We did well on sales, saw lots of our mates (it was nice to be next to Nabil, Steve and the rest of the Traveling Man crew) and get a huge sense of achievement for D101 Games.Β  Full of Awesome and Win.Β  Already planning next year πŸ™‚

Here’s some of the sights from the show….

 

IM IN FOR TEH BOX OF AWESOME!!

Of this “No Thank You, Evil!” a Game of Make-Believe for Families

Seriously we sat down this Sunday to play a Fate game that I’m working on, and our Henry (5 1/2 years) comes in to say hi to the gang. He looked at all the maps, dice and other cool stuff on the table and asked to join in. He was geninuely creastfallen when I said no (the game was a grown up game of monster hunting in ancient Alexandria not U by any stretch of the imagination).Β  So this comes at the right time for both him and his sister, who although she’s 8 the game is designed so older children can have move involved characters and play along side younger siblingsΒ  πŸ™‚